UNEXPECTED
Maybe I shouldn’t have asked for details. But I did.
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Sometimes it’s best to simply show up and let the whole of everything unfold.
But being prepared is ingrained in who I am.
When I travel, I always ask for pictures of the hotel room. When I design, I tear out pieces of the walls and ceiling to see precisely what's hidden there. To me, the idea of "pleasantly surprised," is a contradiction in terms.
Then came the image I had asked for and I was once again proven right. "Pleasant" can't come close to what I'm walking into. How do I prepare myself for this?
I am having one of those mornings when the whole world shifts,
when unexpected news wedges in between drying my hair and matcha sips.
My team of doctors have some difficult questions about what's going on within. Yet, this is what I remind myself when my world begins to spin—
~My feet are grounded, I am standing upright
~There is nothing different in this moment other than the new knowledge of something that already exists
~I can still smile, chew my food, take in breath
Mine is not to argue over the truth of my situation or wish it away but to stand squarely in the center of it until what is, is my own.
I remind myself that life is a complex rhythm of precision and soul.
It’s the mind calculating every step while the heart simply lets go.
In seven short days the whole of me [except for my ankles because I'm too tall] will be wedged inside this cage. For sixty minutes I will lie perfectly still, while the secrets I’m withholding are miraculously revealed.
This is the rhythmic unfolding of a life living on the edge—
Not climbing distant mountaintops, not bungee jumping, or sailing around the world.
My great adventure will be enduring one test, and then another that look a lot like this.
I have written that the words eager and anxious are nearly interchangeable until their nuance is revealed.
Eagerness is the companion of hope.
anxiousness is that same hope concealed.
So, I fall into what I must do with the eagerness that has accompanied my favorite days.
You may laugh when I tell you the questions I asked the tech—
Am I strapped to the table?
In case of electrical failure can I still be pulled out?
Is the technician right there in my ear?
How long do I have to lie perfectly still?
Do I get to choose the music station?
We prepare. And then we let go.
The news does not tilt us over but confidently redirects our steps,
Until we are in the center of a new purpose we weren’t aware exists.
This is life. Our triumph is not the orchestration of perfect days,
but our willingness to plunge headfirst into the mess and majesty of the unexpected.
NOTES: In what seems like a different lifetime I wrote about another “Unexpected” adventure not at all like the one I’m currently living through. I’ve included the link to this entry of the Journal because I think it’s so important for you to see just how much life ebbs and flows. I want you to know, more than anything, that I am still as fascinated by my life, in this moment, as I was then. Ironically, the last line written in that piece could be used to describe the way I feel about everything now. “Blessed tears.” You’ll have to read the rest yourself…scroll to the link under “Related Posts I Think You Will Enjoy” below. As far as the image in this piece, let me tell you a little more—What I will experience next Saturday is called a Prenuvo Scan*. This radiation-free technology enables two worlds to collide, the one outside our bodies and the universe within. Fully diagnostic, non-invasive and meticulous, Prenuvo goes far beyond standard whole body MRI scans to capture comprehensive and precise scans. With the use of multiparametric imaging, Prenuvo harnesses the power of AI to obtain more quantitative and accurate information which can lead to earlier diagnoses and more successful outcomes.Successful outcomes. No matter the endeavor, isn't that we all hope to achieve? *If you want to learn more about Prenuvo click here. RELATED POSTS I THINK YOU WILL ENJOY https://www.sanctuaryliving.life/unexpected/