TINY SIPS OF ARSENIC
I watched the vice presidential debate.
I felt a responsibility to join the 57 million who would attempt to digest the conversation without losing their evening meal. I’m not saying that all was troublesome or treacherous. But my stomach, like the rest of me, was tied in knots even before the first sentence began.
There were so many things I wanted said in just the way my own heart could hear them.
Yet, no matter how hard I wished or uttered it, my “contribution” didn’t change one thing—not my heart, not my mind, not the future as far as I could see.
I know exactly what you’re thinking, “it’s important to be informed.” I would agree with you in every possible way. But sometimes I think we mistake drama for information and it’s that excuse, that guise, that drives us to subject our spirits, even possibly our souls, to the depths of humanity’s deceptions without counting the potentially life-altering consequences that contamination brings.
Take for instance, coffee. There was a season in my life when my body was inexplicably very ill. Extensive testing revealed no answers until one day my search for healing led me to a kinesiologist’s door. For those of you unfamiliar with this practice, the remedial explanation is a reliance on muscle testing—it’s strength or weakness—as a diagnostic tool.
Laying on the table, I readied myself for what I thought would be a complicated manipulation of body parts. Instead, the Kinesiologist simply quietly stated, “Something you are putting in your body is making you ill.” Before his hands even began the testing I replied, “Well just don’t tell me it’s coffee!” Just like that. My body, like a clever spy, informed me of the intel it had been gathering that my subconscious had known all along.
“The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know.”—Bessel A. can derr Kolk
Sure enough, after just minutes of muscle testing the practitioner boldy stated, “Coffee is your nemesis,” and the battle between me and myself was over.
I share all this to ask, what are you letting in that something inside you is quietly pleading for you to stop?”
What little bit of poison are you forcing yourself to ingest out of ignorance, self importance or insatiable need?
It took me three months of being coffee-free to begin to feel a physical, emotional, and mental shift. How long will it take us to detox from what we willfully, even eagerly invite into the sanctuary of our homes and hearts?
As I was traveling and away from my husband, I asked him, “Did you watch the debate last night.” He answered with bold conviction, “Absolutely not, why would I subject myself to that?”
Sometimes, it is necessary to look directly into the hard thing and sometimes we are called to look the other way.
I may not be able to change the behavior on the screen but I can alter the disposition of my own humanity and this is how I start:
I ask myself how will participating in this help someone else or how will it edify or change me for the better?
I pay attention to how my spirit responds as I open myself to something I cannot control.
I am honest with myself about how much “residual time” is invested in the aftermath of what I deem as a “singular event” [listening to pundit reviews, arguing on social media, discussing with friends, losing sleep over, mulling over, researching and more].
I count the cost, being mindful of what is lost in terms of relationships with family and friends as I agree to trade my limited time on earth to love and build, for something completely “other.”
I take stock of what happens in my body as the negative emotions take hold. I notice how I act, my tone, my language, even how I breathe and sleep.
Wednesday evening, nothing I did or could have contributed would have changed the behavior of those on the screen. Yet ironically, the subtle, insidious,hardly-even-noticeable shift was the one that happened within me.
Tiny sips of arsenic. One and then another.
Over time, what is allowed, even savored, takes root, stealing our strength, our health, the very best of who we are. Until we become in our own lives, what we cannot comprehend or tolerate in others.
Your mind and body are profoundly connected. What happens in one impacts the other. Feeding your body a healthy thought diet is the essence of Sanctuary Living.