THE PARTNERSHIP

I watched my mama take her last breath, then promptly walked to her bathroom to find her favorite French lipstick, and lovingly placed it where her exquisite smile had been just days before.

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She was 76. I thought then how young this playful, 5’ 2” French lady was when she spoke her last goodbye.

How extraordinary that our perspectives shift when we view the unexpected moments not as happenings but change-agents to the trajectory of our lives.

TODAY I WOULD TELL YOU THAT JACQUELINE WAS OLD WHEN SHE DIED. IN CONTEXT OF MY LIFE NOW, I CRAVE THE GIFT OF ANOTHER DECADE, TO LIVE AS LONG AND FULLY AS MY MAMA DID.

From my recent lab results, I am well on my way to, “saving my own damn life.” My mischievous grin will tell you that I say this with a measure of playfulness. But I am dead serious.

This week ushers in the celebration of two things you need to know [or at least things I need to share]—

1.    This week I am celebrating another birthday, three years into Stage IV cancer. For those of you who are familiar with this “situation,” there is understanding of just how precious and rare life is.

2.    I am three years into a life shared with two tumors lodged between my aorta and pancreas, how constant a reminder of just how miraculous breathing really is.

IN TRUTH, MY PERSONAL TAGLINE EMPHASIZED BY QUOTES ABOVE, IS ONLY PART OF THE STORY. WHILE I AM ACHIEVING MIRACULOUS RESULTS FROM ADHERING TO A STRICT METABOLIC NUTRITIONAL PROGRAM, THE WORK IN SUPERNATURAL REALMS IS REALLY WHERE THE CREDIT BELONGS—

There is no way to speak of my life and everything in it without nodding to the partnership I am sharing with the living, breathing Lord of my life.

Today, after adding a coat of topcoat to my nails I quickly waved them back and forth to help them dry. With each deliberate movement of my hands the air swooshed.  

Before the motion of my fingers, what surrounded me was inert.

Yet, when I moved my body with vigorous intention, something invisible and omnipresent made itself known.

We wait for something to happen. We beg our Creator for a sign or an action that will in some way change the circumstances of our lives…a life we did not intend, did not expect, or ask for. We wait. And wait…

Did we forget or were we ever told that we hold the momentum of everything we long for firmly in our grasp?

A WAVE OF THE HANDS. A STEP IN A FORWARD DIRECTION,
AN AGREEMENT TO PARTNER WITH THE ONE WHO CAN DO ANYTHING,
BUT REFUSES TO PROCEED WITHOUT OUR WILLINGNESS TO PARTICIPATE IN THE MIRACLE HE HAS PLANNED.

Why are you waiting? How much time do you really think you have?

In celebration of my birthday, the greatest gift you can give is to get up from your chair.
I imagine you now, standing, see the full-force power of you there.
Can you move your hands as if conducting an orchestra,
One playing the score of your life?

Then feel the air circulating around you, becoming visible through the feeling of its presence in your mind.
This…this! is motivation enough to keep moving forward no matter what you are being called to bear.

Do you see the air in your midst? It is there. He is there.

NOTES:
In honor of this birthday, the third on this side of my cancer affair, it is my joy to share the top ten things I’ve learned over these past 973 days—

~Noticing Everything is An Art—The air that surrounds you. The love that engulfs you. The possibilities that call to you.

~You Don’t Have Forever—Forever is waiting. But not here on earth. This life is a fast train, a tidal wave, a shooting star. 

~Your Life is in Your Hands—Wave them. Plant with them. Hold someone you love with them. Pray with them.

~Challenge What You Believe—Be open. Be pliable. Be changeable.

~God is Waiting—Take his hand. Believe his word. Test his voice. Trust his love.

~Don't Worry, You'll Figure it Out—Take a breath. Wait a little longer. Give cadence to the reaction with complete recognition that not everything is final or dramatic or even reality.

~Let People Love You—There is no shame in being the needy one once in awhile. Let those who adore you come in close, fill the gap, prop you up more often than you believe is necessary or even appropriate.

~Get Uncomfortable—Walk into a room you never thought you'd enter as if you own the place and then make everyone around you feel right at home.

~There is Majesty in the Hard Moment—This space is the most under-rated in the human experience and yet the most life-giving of all.

~You Will Never Be As Young As You Are Right Now—Never lament or regret the power of the wrinkle, the wisdom creased across your brow, the slowed gate that allows others to catch up, the wisdom that prompts the mouth to close to enable others to get a word in.