THE COUNSEL OF NIGHT [La Nuit Port Conseil]
The night is not to be despised for its hauntings but cherished for its revelations poured out in darkness. __________________________________
This is how I see the world. Not only the literal nights of our days, but the dark nights of the soul.
There is no evolution of thought and spirit without the seasons that awaken us from slumber. I am in one of those now.
We are admonished not to go to bed angry. But what of the day’s problems not resolved? Sometimes the things we wrestle with between sunrise and sunset require not the intensity of keen focus, but a complete surrender of everything we are.
These days I am awakened far more often than I wish to admit. At first awareness, there is this auto-response of foreboding, a subtle and unidentifiable dread.
Then comes a deep breath and an all-encompassing stillness, sweet and rare. If I will it, my mind runs down not the rabbit hole but through a wide-open field of possibilities laid out like wild poppies springing up here…and there.
The night bears advice, when all the fussing and carrying on of the day is at rest. It is the time the soul whispers its deepest knowings, and the Creator of all things speaks what is best.
What ifs are born in the middle of the night, when our minds are emptied of the fret.
This is what the French know, the ancestors of my birth. And I am one of them, philosopher and seeker of the perspective not first considered, the hunter of the elusive, the capturer of the what can be.
I am learning to covet the nocturnal awakenings, eagerly welcoming them as opportunity to remember the whispers that inhabit my rest. And I have learned not to trust that I will recall the lessons when I wake, instead sneaking away to the bathroom to write down what I have just heard.
The lessons of the darkness [both its literal embodiment and the ones of the soul] are the deepest. They shift both perspective and course in ways our bright days cannot.
Light-immersion creates so much distraction outside of ourselves, so much temptation to reflect what we are not. But the darkness envelopes us in an inescapable examination of the truth of ourselves, providing dream picture shows of how to find our way forward or back.
I have come to view the darkness as the supernatural realm of possibility, where negativity and naysayers are banned.
I imagine it as the intersection of Heaven and Earth, where the cares of this world work their way out, and where the wisdom of the universe pours in.
Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven—Jesus Christ
In darkness I receive a glimpse of what’s going on where He is—
He frets not even for a moment,
and goes before me to make a way.
He orchestrates the whole of everything,
harnessing every situation for good.
La Nuit Port Conseil. The advice of the night.
Such a breathtaking way to experience the darkness—as trusted advisor, counselor, friend.
There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious—Carl Jung
Making the darkness conscious. Bringing shadows into light.
How then do we allow “what is” to transform us?
How do we leverage the darkness of night?
Lord, before I slip into slumber, hold me close in your embrace.
Let only what transforms me into your likeness invade my rest.
Quiet me. Open me. So that your wise counsel has room to infiltrate.
So that when I awake, a fresh perspective, a new revelation and a bold hope are manifested,
and wholeness [body, mind, spirit] is restored.
NOTES:
I think it’s important to reiterate that this Journal is written as a collection of love letters, an exploration of my life where it intersects yours. I share this to place into context this season of my journey. We ALL go through something that gives us pause.
To say that cancer is “back” or has “returned” would be misleading. In fact, it has never gone away but existed quietly while I go about my life mostly unaffected, but never completely unaware.
Last Sunday evening, after enduring nineteen hours of significant pain, I ended up in the emergency room where, among other routine tests, I underwent a CT scan. Before the doctor made it back to the room I learned from MyChart [what I had suspected], that the cancer has metastasized, expanding from two tumors wedged between aorta and pancreas, to the peritoneal cavity and near the sigmoid colon [the area of the body that houses most of the abdominal organs].
Because I was alone when I learned this news, I was able to observe my response—calm, curious, eager to learn more. I can say with all honesty that I didn’t shed a tear.
Cancer learns. These are the two words that have made the most impact, that have driven my decision-making from the beginning of all this five years ago. Knowing this has resulted in a response that is:
Measured. Paced. Thoughtful. Singular. Consistent.
While the internet is loaded with information about new, off-label/repurposed, and extremely creative treatments/supplements/modalities, I have remained steadfastly mindful that doing everything all at once will likely train the cancer to mutate into a resistant state that refuses to respond.
The confused mind says “No.” So does the body.
If you read through the copious entries in this Journal you will uncover this overarching message:
Information is key! Our bodies tell us everything we need to know.
Looking inward, rather than searching aimlessly outside of ourselves, gives us the ammunition we need to successfully go after the cancer without wasting precious resources…our finances. our emotions. our time.
INTEGRATIVE TREATMENT UPDATE:
At this stage, there are two specific action plans my team and I have put into place:
I have determined to undergo another surgery [the fourth] to “debulk” or remove as much of the cancer as we can. In most countries, this surgical approach is the standard, in opposition to defaulting to chemotherapy as the first/only solution.
Just yesterday I shipped a comprehensive blood panel to the United Kingdom and Datar Cancer Genetics. This globally-integrated testing method surveys patient/disease biology, analogizes results to a multitude of treatment modalities [integrative, chemo and immune therapies, off label/repurposed drugs, supplements, therapies] and matches patient-specific disease to targeted therapies to remove guess work and heighten/improve the odds for positive outcomes. This test is the gold standard and I eagerly await results…and, of course, will share them with you.**
Prayer remains a constant source of hope, vitality, and authentic, abundant connection with my Lord. This past week my inbox was filled with words cried out to the Father from those on my prayer team…the finest people I know. This, above everything, is life giving and essential, more than ever now.
**Learn more about DATAR here:
Datar Cancer Genetics Unveils Next Generation Multi-Analyte, AI-Powered Decision Support Platform for Personalized Treatment of Difficult-to-Treat Cancers.:https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/datar-cancer-genetics-unveils-next-generation-multi-analyte-ai-powered-decision-support-platform-for-personalized-treatment-of-difficult-to-treat-cancers-302366564.html?tc=eml_cleartime
Contact:
Dr. Keshia Tate
VP of Business Development for Naturopathic & Integrative Physicians
Datar Cancer Genetics Distributed by Base Pair Consulting
Mobile: 480-955-1094
Email: drkeshiatate@bpcdx.com