STORY OF MY LIFE

I carry within me the stories. My people gave me brown eyes, long legs, and a prominent nose. But I am more than the sum of their physical beings. I am their determination rising before sunrise to plow the soil. I am their sorrow at losing their first child. I am their hopes burning like fire and the promise of a better life sailing across a great water divide.   

_____________________

There are particles that surge through me, far more consequential than a few cancer cells. I have sensed since I was a little girl that the DNA of 10,000 stories is carried in my veins. Only recently science tells me that what I intuited is so.

To tell the stories it is necessary to let the heart speak. The mind must be a good listener as if sitting still, relaxed and unhurried nestled in the deep wicker chair.

I CLOSE MY EYES AND LET MY HANDS DO THE WORK, PECKING OUT ONE OVERWHELMING FEELING AND THEN THE NEXT, SETTING FREE WHAT IS IN ME AND OF ME…THEN OF US.  

This is the Journal. 129,979 words. 200, two-sided pages—the work of a part of me, determined to create something important, born of both need to coax my heart to open and a kind of test to see if something marvelous can be constructed from consistency and resolve. I have discovered…it  can.

My friend Kristen said, “Don’t mention you are writing a book because you have declared that before.” Still no book. She is right. What I desire more than anything [editing my Journal entries into a singular published work] is harder than I could have imagined. Not because the resources aren’t there. But because I must call upon a belief in myself that is “next level” in every possible way. And, I have been distracted of late by doing everything I can to make the days of my life far more reaching than the doctors say.

Here I am. Declaring it. That those 129,979 words are destined to become the story of what the heart longs for, then of what we long for made real.

If you allowed your heart to speak without interruption, what would it say—
Would it thank you for believing in love no matter the hurt and betrayal?
Would it condemn you for having gotten in your own way?
Would it urge you to push through the hardships, the excuses?
Would it tell you to live inside the beliefs you preach and proclaim?

When I set out to write this Journal there was no specific plan, only to let what is within me make its way to you in a way that would make sense of a complicated world.

THE CREATOR OF MY HANDS, WHO FORMS THE WORDS THAT POUR OUT ON THE PAGE, BEARS WITNESS TO THE INTERSECTION OF MY LIFE EXPERIENCE WITH YOURS.

There are redundancies in my writing and nothing about that is wrong or bad. In fact, as with good design, repetition of elements [color, texture, pattern, light] brings a sense of rhythm to an otherwise silent room. One. Two. Three. One Two Three.  
In the pattern we discover a cadence that offers a sense of calm to our sometimes chaotic minds.

About a year into writing in the Journal I began to record my words. I wanted to be there with you, tucking in the morning sheets, walking the neighborhood, preparing to take on the day—narrating allows you to be anchored in the moment rather than the device.

AT THE END OF THIS ENTRY, YOU AND I WILL HAVE SHARED 130,534 WORDS. LIKE TELEPATHY, A CONVERSATION OF TWO SOULS. AND THROUGH THE PROCESS, YOU HAVE BECOME FAMILY, AS NECESSARY AS THE DNA RUNNING THROUGH MY VEINS.

For me, this conversation is more than words on paper. It is everything.

NOTES:

Before publishing this week, I was determined to go through every Journal entry and circle all my favorite words. By favorites, I mean words that pop up over and over or ideas that honestly just slap me in the face. But then it occurred to me that the words you find lovely, useful, and memorable are far more interesting and important.

Have you found those “moments” in the Journal that speak directly to your soul?

Would you share them with me, either through the Comments section of the Journal or through email at jkraft@sanctuaryliving.life?

Over the next few months I will be cultivating and curating your favorite words and phrases in delightful and maybe even surprising ways...to empower and encourage you in the moments of your day, and encourage you to live the all-in life you long for...no matter the challenges you face.

Much Love,
jk