HOMESICK

I believed until recently that absentmindedness was the reason I leave my keys on the checkout counter or my sunglasses on the restaurant window ledge. But then someone told me that it is not forgetfulness but my desire to be remembered that compels me to leave pieces of myself wherever I am.

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Chicago. Then Dallas. Kansas City. Then San Diego. Mine is a story of leaving little pieces of my heart behind even before I was twelve years old. How curious that as an adult I would follow this childhood nomadic life as necessary to me as taking tiny first steps or learning my a, b, c’s.

I ask my friends who have lived in the same space most of their lives, “Do you ever long for something ‘other’?” Perhaps this repetition [of letting go and leaning in] must be experienced to be fully understood.

 It seems to me that whether the going or the staying, there is an imbedded sense of something more that in this life cannot be obtained—

This enigma is how I came to found Sanctuary Living. Or more accurately, how Sanctuary Living found me.

After transforming and inhabiting twenty-three of my own homes, I have become adept at understanding our compelling to nest. Still, there is this presence of something otherworldly and intangible that transcends the basic human need to anchor to place.

SOME OF MY MORE SPIRITUAL FRIENDS WOULD EXPLAIN IT AS WHAT I CALL THE DOCTRINE OF BELONGING…WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO APPORTION THE ESSENCE OF OURSELVES TO THIS TIME AND SPACE.

The question becomes, are we longing for a place we all came from, a place unremembered but ingrained?

I BELIEVE IT’S POSSIBLE TO BRING A LITTLE OF THAT PLACE [HEAVEN] TO EARTH. THAT’S WHAT SANCTUARY IS—WHERE YOU RUN TO WHEN YOUR SOUL CRAVES BEAUTY, SAFETY, A TOUCH OF GRACE.

Have you found this place?  

If there’s anything these last three years have taught me, it’s that our biggest mistake is believing we have more time to reconcile the life we’re living with the one we always imagined we’d have—

IF YOU’RE WONDERING HOW TO CLOSE THE DIVIDE BETWEEN WHAT IS AND WHAT IS DESIRED, CONSIDER THIS: THE FARTHER WE MOVE AWAY FROM OUR CREATOR AND HIS CREATION, THE MORE HOMESICK THE HEART IS.

Home+Sick. A curious combination of two essential words—
To deny yourself the simple, daily encounters that evoke a visceral joy.
To refuse to stand firm in a purpose bigger than yourself.
To indulge your body with toxins—toxic people, toxic substances, toxic thoughts.
To fixate on the need to possess things that bring temporal pleasure.
To surround yourself with perpetual negativity that eclipses everything good.

Have you ever been fully present for the transition season of a loved one who is preparing to depart?

They see things we can’t, talk to people that we believe aren’t there. In those quiet hours when I should have been sleeping, I sat transfixed by my mama’s [and then later] my daddy’s side. There, just beyond the blankets was a portal opening, an invisible light streaming in. And I could see with the eyes of my heart, the other world their passing was ushering in—

“Nene!” my Daddy exclaimed. “Am I having a party?” I asked him why he thought he was. “Because all the people I love are in the room and they just seem so happy.”

HOMESICK. CAN’T YOU FEEL IT? A PLACE WHERE WE ALL HAVE BEEN AND STILL LONG FOR, EVEN IN THE MIDST OF OUR MOST MUNDANE DAYS.

Perhaps I fixate on life [and death] a little more than most of us these days.
But it doesn’t mean I’m waiting to leave.
Mine is the honor, the privilege, to nudge you to live more like you’re already there.
There is nothing wrong with believing this life could and SHOULD be a little [no, a lot] more heavenly.

How we live points the way—
A beautiful heart.
A beautiful thought-life.
Every single other thing is a reflection of this.

The only conclusion that makes any sense?

HOMESICK ISN’T BROKENNESS BUT A BREATHTAKING THING.

NOTES:

Fact: We may never feel like we completely belong where we’re planted.

That’s not only natural but a good thing.

But as long as we’re here, let’s agree to live in the space where Heaven and Earth intersect—

In my work I always start by uncovering what’s holding you back from living the life you long for. Most often the reason we get stuck is because we have a tendency to look back. Have you mistaken the longing for something you once had?
I contend it's not born from a missing of something you had, but a part of you waiting just up ahead.  

Lack of vision and purpose is nearly always manifested in your home—

Where you dwell may be beautiful, but does it embody the essence of who you are?

If not, why not?

The real answer is never about budget or things, but how you view yourself.

We start there, in the longing. And then we open up all the possibilities…

Like morning light shining through the window. Like a portal opening at the foot of the bed.