SHOWING UP
Note to reader -
The battle cry of “choice” is evidence that we all revere our independence, women more than ever now. Yet, within this framework is a very real anxiety about going it alone.
As a tribe, we women have lost our way in terms of undergirding and supporting one another, not simply with our voices, but with our whole selves.
What I know is this—when a woman comes to me and asks,I will say,”you are powerful enough, wise enough, strong enough, loving enough to do this.” And if she doubts that, I will be there. If we advocate for a woman to keep her child then we [all of us] must be willing to join in to that sacrifice of love.
The mamas of the world need us. We shout our opinions yet rarely offer our hands to help, soothe, and calm.
When I was a young mama a woman at church approached me and said, "I am praying that someday you will be a godly woman." She was referring to my life as both business owner and mama. In her small world I couldn't possibly be good at one without the other suffering.
Over the years I hear her comment in my head when I watch a young mama struggling with groceries in one hand and child in the other, adjusting her briefcase on her shoulder while pushing the stroller, calming a hungry infant while shoving her luggage into the overhead compartment.
My three boys have grown into remarkable men, not in spite of my choice to work, but because of it. I recall the days of numbing exhaustion and remember asking Ron, "is there something I'm doing that I will regret?" With those kind blues eyes, staring into my soul he replied, "what you are doing for those boys is teaching them what hard work looks like.
Someday they will become the reflection of you, and thatmakes me so proud." To the word, straight to my heart. Never forgotten.
When women judge with their bold opinions about whether to bea mama or what kind of mama other women should be, my reply is never, "Iam praying for you." It is always, "what do you need me to help withtoday."
If we want a world where every child is wanted, then we have the responsibility to come alongside.
To help without boundaries.
Show up without judgement. Hold without condemnation.
Be there without fail.
This is what women have always done for one another. This is who we are in our DNA.
Be that woman for someone you love and watch her spirit…and the world…transform.
WAYS WE CAN SHOW UP NOW—
Refuse to Judge—avoid engaging in divisive conversations or harsh commentary.
Fuel Life—give money to pregnancy centers and life-advocates who offer alternatives to ending life and seek to bring solutions instead of fuel division.
Jump In—volunteer your time to not only counsel women but to be an emotional support during and after the pregnancy.
Connect—partner with businesses and organizations in your community to support women who might feel overwhelmed and pressured by the necessity to “choose:”
Start a program at your Community College to provide modified classrooms for pregnant and nursing moms, provide affordable childcare and options for “bringing baby to class,” offer childbirth classes and free library resources. Organize baby showers for expectant moms.
Work with your local Target to offer gift cards for expectant and new moms.
Create programs in your church that partner with programs, facilities, resources FREE for those who are desperate to see “seeds of hope.”
Speak Hope—Instead of buying into conversations that anger, divide, and dismay, bring hope by offering words and actions of support. Speak what you are FOR not what you are against