GIVE MEANING

Nearly every corner of my home inhabits a story. The intrinsic Process of Sanctuary is founded on the belief that our surroundings, our environments, are not some externalized, detached entity to be gazed upon and admired but extensions of who we are. Our environments are our history…archeological digs which reveal what we are drawn to, who we love, what excites and motivates us, what we hold dear and what we find to be interesting and lovely.  

Imagine, for a moment, that you are now an extinct civilization.

Putting aside issues of disintegration and decay, what would a dig team be able to determine about you if they came upon the remains of your environment? Would the external manifestations of how you lived tell an accurate story of who you really were?

We have all been told that ‘things’ are meaningless. After all, we can’t take them with us. But in ‘buying into’ this concept, we’ve become poor stewards of how we spend our money. In fact, rather than creating a ‘spend less’ mentality, this idea has created a buying frenzy which rewards wasting money and reveres buying on impulse.  As a result, we carelessly purchase things that have no relationship to who we are, in places that have no resonance, from people who are distracted, disinterested, and downright rude. When this leaves us feeling empty, we start the process over in an attempt to once again fill our space rather than our soul. The result is an over-assertion of clutter in both home and heart.

I’m amazed at how much we do in life with little connection to the act. 

To avoid the internal conversation that begs to know the “why,” we disengage head from heart and simply respond to external stimulation. In the end, the “what” suffers.  It’s no wonder we fall out of love so quickly with items that never really mattered to us in the first place.  

To test this idea, let’s look at what motivates your choices?

Is it Price—if you “lead with money,” you will, most certainly, never get what you really want. Either you will spend too much, believing that higher prices or designer tags somehow validate your taste level or the value of the thing. Or you’ll spend too little, seduced by cheap imitations, poor quality, and mass production that is completely counter to individual style.  No matter what the motivation, nothing good can come from leading with money as your first priority.

Now let’s look at Popularity—if buying what everyone else has is your motivator then you will never truly be at peace. Trends change almost faster than anyone can keep up with them. In fact, by the time a trend reaches the masses it’s already out-of-fashion. Following an externalized mandate or definition of style will only lead you farther from cultivating an outward persona that is internally, unquestionably you.  

Finally,  let’s explore the  motivation of Pretty—we are accustomed to  seeing only with our eyes even though we possess six senses (if you count intuition which I most definitely do) that should be engaged in the process.  When we let our eyes make the choice alone we purchase things that are out of context, not only with who we are but within the framework of our environments.  Like a crow to a shiny object we allow “pretty” to seduce us in the moment. It’s no wonder we have so many things lying around, boxed up and stored, and stuffed away in closets that over burden and make us ask why we ever bought it in the first place. 

So, if Price, Popularity, and Pretty aren’t the proper motivators of purchase, then what are?

This is where the real fun begins. Because from here on out your motivator will be YOUR STORY. To tell it, you must first become clear about who you are. After that, the what will naturally follow. Let me show you what I mean…

A few years ago I completely gutted a century-old, wood sided house with a breathtaking panorama of Lake Washington and the Seattle Space Needle just beyond.  From its architecture to proximity within walking distance of a charming European-style village, the home just seemed to be screaming, “Tuscan” from every point-of-view.  The year-long re-characterization resulted in a remarkable articulation of all things Tuscany including the addition of several charming, deep niches carved into plaster and brick surrounds. One of these niches was perfectly poised at the bottom of the newly-created staircase that led from master sleeping chambers to an intimate sitting room on the main floor. Every morning as I descended those sixteen stairs I would notice the lonely niche just waiting for a reason to be there.

A beautiful vase would have been lovely.  But as much as I passed by that niche, as apparent and visible its position in the home, I was compelled to not simply fill the space but finish it with an object that gave it a sense of completion—a reason for being there in the first place.

About this time my dear friend, Trish, called to tell me that her dream of adopting an Ethiopian baby boy was about to be fulfilled. An orphanage a remote village had identified a little boy, Biniyam, who they believed would ultimately belong to Trish and her husband, Tim. This glad tiding became the inspiration for one of my most-precious pieces I own. As providence always has it way, the very next day while shopping with a client in one of my favorite flea markets, I noticed an unusual statue from across the room. Closer inspection revealed the likeness of a little boy carved in black stone. Covering the body was a creamy patina created from years of lime deposits leaching to the surface.  

The symbolism of the statue became immediately apparent. This was Biniyam, his Ethiopian skin overlaid with the softer hues of his new mama’s loving hand. I always say that I am never sure whether I find the object or it finds me. But I am certain that on this day, a sweet sweep of divine intervention guided me to this precious treasure that found its ultimate home in the niche at the bottom of the stairs.

My Biniyam has traveled with me, from home to home, city to city, and works aesthetically into any environment no matter the style.  And even though he wasn’t expensive his value is immeasurable. 

Since my own three boys were littlethey’ve heard me say, “Everyone has a story.”  Over the years they’vegrown to not only understand but live the meaning of this phrase. Peopleare unique. Each and every one of themhas something no one else can ever share—a perspective, a way of beingand seeing hat is different in all the world. Absorbing the magnitude ofthis idea changes who you are. You become more interested. Andforgiving. More connected. And redeemable.

So what is the narrative that you have to tell? 

Filling your space with story rather than stuff will not only create peace within you but an evident calm within your environment.  Those who reside within will experience a palpable turnabout from chaos to calm. And those invited in will be affected on levels more felt than seen.    From a very early age I realized that what surrounds you can have an impact on what’s inside of you. Even more powerful, the converse is true. Whether you’re building a personal sanctuary, or one for others to enjoy, your environment should be a soulful extension of the best part of who you are. 

Real design integrates person with place— so that both are equally and elegantly represented and a sense of soul is captured and conveyed.