THE DISSECTION
He stands in the center of the small room to make himself known. Although he calmly utters words that sound like confusion and fear, the response he receives is out of tempo with the urgency he feels. And so he stands, right there, in the middle of this untidy little office, amid busy people going about their days, and he begins to groan.
How curious that we so often live out the inevitable completion of a moment unresolved or forgotten long ago—
Then, a daddy’s dissected aorta.
Now, a tumor lodged near my aorta in nearly the very same place.
Is every moment clocked and remembered a foreshadowing of what will be?
Are we paying enough attention to the depth of our connection, me to you, you to me?
It seems this little foreigner lodged near my heart has come to remind me that every decision made with it and from it impacts every other living cell—
Love flowing freely brings life. It’s a clinical fact.
When life overwhelms or disappoints do you hold it in or let it out? The choice you make could literally mean life or death.
Over years the holding back [of attention, wisdom, grief, emotion, even love] will compromise the deeper intention of seemingly insignificant encounters, until the moments set aside, unrecognized, undervalued are too numerous to count.
What is hoped within the mind is longed for in the body too—To be loved and love completely. To be understood and held. to live a purpose realized.
To stand in the center of this moment without thoughts wandering to the next, and the next.
The body follows every thought. It listens in to the conversations we believe we are having in private. It takes notes and it remembers even when we forget.
There is wisdom in taking caution with what I tell myself.
It’s even possible a negative thought repeated will overtake me faster than cancer ever will.
There will come a day when the heart will give out.
Whether it will be while we still breathe will be of our choosing.
I have seen the dissection of the heart,
A life lived in disappointment with itself.
This foreshadowing is my story but with a different end,
That is, the reconciliation that even the hardest thing we go through has a way of being useful, even beautiful. The secret is to simply decide which one it is.
NOTES:The confused mind says “no” and through our indecision the body pays the price. While we hesitate [to love, to change, to heal] our cells are busy multiplying at impossible speeds.With the help of some extraordinary integrative experts, I have coordinated a comprehensive and dynamic regime designed to not only ensure I survive, but make the next season a collection of the best years of my life.As for the human body, I am most obsessed with matters of the heart.This is where I seek mastery. But there are scores of fascinating whole body treatments and therapies I am learning [intimately] about and I am eager to share all of them with you.For now, I leave you with the most important message of the day—Your thoughts have the power to destroy healthy cells.My favorite book implores, "Take your thoughts captive."There can be no double-mindedness, no dissection, when it comes to decisions that are life or death.
Bonjour. I just wanted to call your attention to the GoFUNDME page that has been created to support Janene as she undergoes treatment for Uterine Cancer. Each week, Janene pours out her heart and love for us and this GoFUNDME support page gives her readers the opportunity to say thank you and to extend some encouragement to her as well. If you would like to show Janene some love this Sanctuary Saturday, you can do two things. First, leave a comment below about what stood out to you from today’s journal entry and secondly, use the link below to visit the GoFUNDME page.
May God Bless you,
Jordan
Editor