RESTORATION SEASON

We count out twenty and I feel the burn like the back of my legs are giving out. Then comes this far off voice whispering, “cancer,” and the whole of me rallies to this reminder that I’ve done something so much harder than this in my life.   

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There is no appreciation like the kind born from regaining what has been lost.

Two years ago, I started training just about the time that my hair was growing in.  I was jubilant, not only because I was clawing my way back to the land of the living but because, for the first time during workout, my long blonde hair wasn’t falling in my face.

Of all the words I'm infatuated with, Restoration is the one that has not only been the bedrock of my design career, but has become the mantra for my life. Such a holy word appropriated to our messy lives.

As I count out twenty and then twenty more, I am reminded as my body grows weary How remarkable it is that restoration goes both ways—

Not only an act of God, but an act of will Motivated by the desire for something Different. Better. More.

Amanda, my trainer, is one third my age. And still, she shows the truth of restoration better than nearly anyone I know. Her blown-out knees have kept her from living out the future that a basketball scholarship was to bring. I listen with that same knowing of something lost-and-looked-for as she pours her unwavering resolve into me. 

Our Pain [hers and mine. mine and yours] is not a competition but a place we go to come to terms with our shared humanity.

And so, we train. Pushing ourselves to a limit only our own minds can contain.

No one is going to do this for me. And only I can reap the full reward from what was lost then regained.

By the third set the whisper has turned into something more audible. "Cancer!” Why is it that even writing the word comes with a measure of shame?

I used to look around the room to see if others were witnessing my ‘ugly’ as I awkwardly attempted to move my body in the way I would see it in my mind—

“Can you make that look a little more dynamic?” I would hear myself say.

Weakness is a perception, a lie. Shouldn’t it be that we see ourselves not as limited but on a journey of growing stronger and wiser every day?

We trick ourselves into believing that the abrasive things we say about ourselves is only in a moment of time. In fact, it steals our momentum over hours, even years.

In our negative thinking not only our motivation but our cells decline—
The loss is biological from pieces of muscle to peace of mind.

How much could we accomplish if every moment were poured into building something rather than tearing down? Here's the part where I am compelled to ask you,

What is it that you desperately want to restore in your life?

I train not to obtain some fabricated version of beauty but to teach my body what it feels like to be strong,
to remind my brain what it feels like to stay focused,
to show my Creator that, like Him, I am in the business of restoration.

God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he’ll have compassion on you; he’ll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered.

Where. You. Were. Scattered.

Isn’t it time to gather yourself?

No matter how far away you end up. God, your God, will get you out and bring you back to a good life. A life worthy of you. A life worthy of Him.

Join Him in this miraculous work.

NOTES:
It’s no wonder we don’t stick to our new diet plans and exercise regimes. With our shallowest intentions we imagine being thinner to fit inside our favorite jeans. But nothing born of the superficial has the strength to last.

My motivation for training over these past two-and-a-half years is to strengthen my body to surpass what it took to endure the hardest season of loss.

As far as cancer is concerned, exercise is one of the most powerful things I can do to restore my life.

At the top of the list, it helps maintain my mental health. Moving my body is the one thing I can control in seasons when I am being necessarily picked and poked...and that's extremely empowering. 

Ironically, in addition to causing pain, exercise also reduces it, creating endorphins that send happy signals to every cell.

Movement retrains my brain to remember that aches and pains aren't always something to be alarmed about but can also be signs that the body is repairing and strengthening itself.  

On days that I train I am also less tired. Exercise reduces fatigue while improving the quality of my sleep. 

If I were a little less self conscious I would show you the muscle that I've gained...even in the midst of intensive treatments my body eagerly responds. Muscles strengthen, balance improves, and lab results prove that bone density is maintained. 

The truth is, the best thing you can do to strengthen your immune system is to sweat. Niacin and dry brushing are excellent companions to exercise to ensure built up toxins [physical and emotional] are released. Release those toxins!