MAKE UP YOUR MIND

There are so many beautiful, glorious things to choose from—"Shall I marry or simply date?" "Will I live in a cottage in the country or a neighborhood surrounded by people I adore?" "Will I be more reserved or will I boldly speak my truth no matter the consequences my honesty brings?"

Ah, but then there's the sad truth that making a choice means something must be left behind. That abandonment can be agonizing. And then, when the decision is made, isn't it stunning how much we lament over what was lost instead of celebrating what was gained?

C'est la vie. Such is life. That's what we are so fond of saying—as if life has a mind of its own, as if life has the bigger say.

But to live—to be fully engaged, to be willing to put your whole self into every encounter—this is the true C’est la vie. Not life deciding. But life being what it is. We make the mistake of thinking that life is more powerful than who we are and live precisely as if what we really want doesn't matter anyway. But when we commit, when we say, "Yes! I am doing this with all that I am," only then comes real satisfaction and release. 

Oh what a tragedy when we can’t trust ourselves with making up our own mind.
Instead, we let life do it for us and we call it fate. Is that what being human is really all about?

This hyper visual world makes choosing, a little agony—Everything more beautiful and enticing than everything else. But for whom?  Not everything is meant for me: Some things are designed to fit as if they were created for me alone. The secret is knowing what you really want. And the secret to that secret is making up your mind...in tiny little doses, one incremental decision at a time.

In my design world I have a process that makes choosing so much easier. I evaluate every parameter to determine an overarching direction. I define it, I vision board it, and then I stick to the plan. Then, no matter how many seductions, I am able to look away.

Do you have a process that your decisions funnel through so that you can make sense of the life you create?

Every decision we are faced with has an alternative that has the potential to be just as right. I used to say making a choice is like being in love with two people...to be genuinely happy, you must leave one behind.

The choices are so overwhelming that sometimes we chose to do nothing at all. Yet refusing to make a choice...is still a choice.

We spend our lives doing just that. Nothing of consequence. Nothing of meaning. Certainly nothing that brings challenges and fear.

Nothing. At. All. Is that the life you want to lead? Is that the best you can do?

There was a time that I would de-board planes because of some inexplicable fear.
Can you imagine the kind of anguish being at war with your own choices brings? I believe you can.
All the while I was packing, I would say, “If I make it to the airport in time I will go.”
Then I would pull into the parking lot and say, “If my plane is on time I will go.”
This kind of madness would go on through every inch of the boarding process until my mind was exhausted from the games I would play.

What games are you playing? What are you telling yourself and others that really isn’t true?
“I promise. I’m going to. if only.” These no longer will do. It’s time to lay all of the pretending down and just be you.

What is it that you really want to do with your life? There’s a part of you that is already living in that reality, even if only in your mind.
And the mind is a vast and treacherous wilderness that has potential to swallow up the beauty of the every day.

I have learned that the only way I can really trust that what I say, is what I will actually do, is to ask myself out loud during nearly every part of the decision-making process, “Are you really going to do this?” —Going to the doctor, meeting with a new client, having a difficult conversation with my man—And I demand an honest answer. "Yes. Absolutely, I am."

If I can’t be honest with myself, I need to stop everything and ask why—

Why are you confused about this? Are you afraid or is this something else? what information are you withholding from yourself?

The game playing—the pretending, the wishing, the hoping and never pursuing has to stop.

Did you know that you have a unique perspective in all the world? Use it.
Did you know that your past has prepared you for what comes next? Listen to it.
Did you know that there is glorious banquet of life that has been prepared explicitly for you? Devour it.
Did you know you have been given the power to make choices that can change every single thing about your circumstance? Leverage it.

Delay. Suppression. Distraction. Appeasement. None of these are legitimate reasons to deny what you know inside.

If you have a tough decision to make, make it. If you are confused, ask someone you trust. But whatever you do, dedicate 2022 to deciding, finishing, breaking through.

Make up your mind. One seemingly insignificant decision will reveal the next right choice.

The real burden isn’t living with your decision but never really making one at all.

Think of the release! Now go experience it. I dare you.