JACKIE’S MEATLOAF
“She is now petitioning the Father on your behalf.” What a remarkable thing to believe.
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I can’t provide evidence of it. Nor can I say for certain that it isn’t so. But I can tell you that these words whispered to me by my pastor at my mama’s memorial, are treasures I have tucked deep into the framework of my belief.
To say that they “bring comfort,” would fall short of the larger and more compelling truth—The veil is thin between this world and the next. Thinner than we know.
My son called this evening just to tell me he had made my mama’s meatloaf, asking me in absentia for her forgiveness that his version opted not for red meat but turkey instead.
He explained he had felt compelled to prepare one of Jackie’s signature dishes, rounded out to perfection by white bread piled high and set in the center of the table, a slab of unsalted butter by its side. I imagined my own Wonder Bread childhood. I smiled. And then I cried.
This week, his wife’s mama took a terrible fall, exacerbating an already complicated diagnosis, accelerating the necessity to make overwhelming decisions with a three-month old baby boy in tow. Amid the complexities of “what now” and “what next,” without realizing the supernatural implications, he ushered his grandma into the presence of a chaotic and grief-filled week, knowing there would be rare comfort there.
Jackie’s meatloaf. One of a thousand recipes tucked inside little wooden boxes painted with whimsical strawberries and apples by her artist’s hand.
I have wrapped and delicately placed them into moving bins twenty-six times, unpacked them with equal care—
The splatters of rich Bolognese,
The handwritten instructions that preserve her DNA,
The names of other mamas who nourished their own families through the rough spots,
The best of the woman she was pressed into three-by-five dimensions for those of us who remain.
“This is my body,” He uttered as he broke the bread.
Bread is the remembrance, the ritual, the connection.
Like crumbs scattered to lead us back when we lose our way.
Nourishing the body. It never fails to focus the mind, to feed the soul.
I believe Jackie joined her grandson—
Mixing turkey, eggs, chopped onion. Hands pressed into the bowl.
There are days I feel the distance between my mama and me.
But this week, she was here.
Tucked inside the more mundane life experiences are unearthly encounters that offer evidence that Heaven is all around us.
I believe those absent from us are as well.
But I believe it’s more than this—it’s a loving Father reminding us that Jackie has his ear.
There are two mama’s, joining Erin’s mama in her trials—Jackie in Heaven. Me here on earth.
There are no accidents. Only divine interventions, sometimes of a very simple kind. God’s love isn’t complicated. It shows up in the everyday activities of mixing ground turkey with onion, in a home enveloped in the smells of comfort and love.
NOTES:
If you’re wondering, Jackie’s Meatloaf was a combination of her own ideas mixed with Betty Crocker’s instructions for the perfect meal.
Did you know…of course you did…that Betty Crocker wasn’t real, but a fictional character created from a contest by the Washburn-Crosby Company [Gold Medal Flour] published in the Saturday Evening Post?
It astounds me that generations of women aspired to be a woman who never existed.
Jackie existed in such large and extraordinary ways. I weep as I write her name.
I wish she were here for me to tell her how much I believed she was interesting, lovely, and brave.
I think the thing I love most about this story is that it was my son who cooked for his family, after a hectic workday.
This is the man I carried. This is the man I raised.
This week, a woman lying in a shadowed hospital room named, “Crystal,” could use our prayers—Maybe as you bake my mama’s meatloaf [from the recipe below], you could offer up your requests.
And know, that whatever you are going through, I’m praying for you.
JACKIE’S MEATLOAF [with healthier modifications baked in]
Please let me know if you serve Jackie’s Meatloaf [or your own version] this week!
Ingredients
1 lb lean ground turkey
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup Panko Gluten Free Breadcrumbs
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 cup Primal Kitchen ketchup
1/2 cup A/2 A/2 milk
Topping
1/4 cup ketchup
Prep
Luckily, there’s not a lot of advanced work to do. Just beat 2 eggs and finely chop 1/4 cup of onion. Then mix that together with a pound of lean turkey, gluten free panko breadcrumbs, Italian seasoning, and a 1/2 cup each of ketchup and milk. Stir well until the seasoning is evenly distributed, and you end up with a beautiful, uniform mixture.
Shape Up
For signature, traditional meatloaf, it’s all about the ‘loaf.’ Use an ungreased 8x4-inch loaf pan and firmly pack the meatloaf mixture. A densely packed meatloaf is one that will keep its shape and burst with flavor.
Into the Oven
Bake at 350° F for 40 minutes. Once the meatloaf starts to set, remove it and spread your sauce over the top. Mama kept it simple and using ketchup, but if you’d like, the sauce is a great place to experiment.
Once your loaf is sauced, let it finish in the oven, so the flavors can meld and combine, and the meatloaf can come up to a safe temperature.