HOW FAR AWAY [REDUX]
THOUGHTS:
I love that Thanksgiving reminds us to be grateful even in the hard seasons.
This year our family celebration started with what we’re thankful for.
Maybe it’s a simple concept. Maybe it’s what every family does.
But there was nothing superficial in our answers, only as real as real was.
It happens that this seemingly trivial prompting led to something more profound.
There we were, enveloped in the darkness of a Winter’s evening, every single one of us in tears.
How is it possible that those closest to us carry important secrets within them that changed the trajectory of their lives—
Without those of us who love them knowing,
Without having the privilege of holding them while they navigate through?
When we ask those we cherish to tell us, tell us they do—
and the floodgates open,
and the feelings authentically begin to flow,
then something inside shifts in everyone involved, when the truth is told.
My profession of gratefulness was being present at the table, nestled in my chair.
This simple declaration reminded me of one of my favorite Journal entries written in late November two years ago. If you read the entry when it was originally written, you understand why my Thanksgiving words were important and profound. Still, the story is never only about me, but about how far we [all] have come…and how far we have to go.
Wherever you find yourself [emotionally, physically, spiritually] this season, I hope these words speak to you. Because we all have it within us to decide to be thankful for what we have in this moment. When we are, every cell in our body heals.
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At midnight I awake to a scuffle in my makeup drawer and discover I’ve captured another little mouse.
It’s one o’clock in the morning and I’m driving a little plastic trap containing a fury creature to the open field where the moon shines bright. This is the part when you begin to think I’m crazy. But if I am to speak life into every situation, it must include the little Fievel’s that find their refuge from the freezing cold nestled in my Q-tips and cotton balls.
The directions on the box instruct, “Place bait inside trap and when creature is caught drive it two miles away.”
Sometimes the miles required are much more than we imagined, to get to where we need to be from where we are.
On this day last year I was 3,626 miles from the comfort of my own nest. The distance was necessary to not only change my thinking but to open the possibility to just a little more life.
It’s something of a phenomenon that a tiny mouse can smell his nest from nearly two miles away. And he fights with all his tiny strength to make it back there instead of making a home in the new place where he is.
We make up our minds that we will leave behind the things that trip us up and bind us. But how far forward must we travel to ensure we never go back?
What is the distance between your heart’s desire and the life you’ve made for yourself?
When is the last time you removed yourself from everything familiar to uncover how you really want to live? The change we crave is rarely just around the corner or waiting along some ordinary route. And still it seems, no matter how often we attempt our escape from the unwanted, we nearly always go back.
How far must you take yourself out of your comfortable reality to discover a new path?
Last year, on a beach [at Hope4Cancer] in Cancun I wrote,
Breathing. Right this instant. It may sound silly. Maybe even a little trite.
But in this very minute I’m filled with this overwhelming joy and peace.
For a woman who has planned, anticipated, and strategized her entire life, this is a big deal.
As big as the sea.
I scribbled this on a napkin in the midst of an intensely exhausting three weeks. Far away from home. Far away from the ones I love.
I can’t tell you how far you must be taken to ensure you never go back—
To the lies that haunt you,
To the mistakes you perpetually make,
To the habits that own you,
To the negative thinking you wan’t so badly to break.
What I can say with confidence is that the life you long for will require a more expansive journey than you ever presumed or believed.
Who we want to become is rarely a step or two away. Our instinct will do it’s best to pull us back to things we knew, even if they’re rotting from decay.
At 4am I load the trap into the jeep and drive to the open meadow where I have dropped off members of his tiny family so many times before. Opening the lid he leaps to his freedom and scampers off to take new territory on this frosty November morn.
The exaggerated nature of my response is curious, but the same hope I feel in this moment, is reflected in that picture, in our smiles. We have been released from the thinking that held us back, allowed a fresh perspective to permeate our cells.
It took the willingness to embrace the truth that change brings freedom,
It required a journey of 3,626 miles.
MORE READING ON MY STAY AT HOPE4CANCER
https://www.sanctuaryliving.life/thejournal/is-it-obvious
https://www.sanctuaryliving.life/thejournal/the-art-of-the-free-fall
https://www.sanctuaryliving.life/thejournal/all-of-everything
https://www.sanctuaryliving.life/thejournal/twenty-one-days