FIND YOUR VOICE
When I was four, we moved across country. And then in perfect cadence, we moved every four years after that. From Chicago to Dallas, Kansas City to San Diego, we followed the dream of a young daddy, never doubting the future he envisioned for us in a new place.
It’s hard to say whether adaptability was a gift, or whether I developed it as a survival skill. Wherever we were, I made fast friends.
There is no room for superficial with recognition that time is short. There is only this connection that joins heart to heart.
I recognized early that there was always at least one thing I could like about a person, and I made it a game to mine the common ground. In this space of neutrality and mutual trust I was free to love without suspicion, free to open up, free to learn and expand without concern that in doing so I would lose the essential parts that made me who I am.
What is inside of us is often beautiful and tender. But what is translated is often another thing altogether.
Speaking from the heart takes an enormous amount of trust, not only in the other person but in our own capacity to bring thoughts and feelings into concert with one another.
Finding your voice requires exposure, an opening up, not shutting down. It requires “staying” when the inclination is to walk away.
[This is the moment in my writing when I realize I am preaching to myself. My intention was to write about being bold when there are just so many things that need to be said. Evidently, God has something else entirely on his mind]
It’s painful to be misunderstood, particularly when it seems to happen again and again.
Why is it that we are so ingrained in our own patterns that the roadblocks to deepening our relationships seem to continually take us by surprise?
The world is in its headspace and we seem to be mindlessly following along. Yet, it is in our heart language that we fill the gap, making a way between what is meant and what is said in every situation.
When did we become so afraid to share the depths of what we feel? What amount of grief and disappointment is portion enough to justify our inability to reach out and love?
We have all become so offended. And exposing our hearts is the last thing on our minds. Instead, we have created a megaphone world where being loud is the prescription for getting our way rather than finding our way to compassion.
We have misunderstood the term “Use Your Voice” to mean finding our power in being confrontational and combative. But being a round-the-clock warrior is a betrayal to the lover in each of us who is aching to be heard.
Despite my own outrage and disappointment, He leads me to love every single time—starting in my sanctuary. I may not be able to change the world, but I can alter the headlines of my own story…starting by agreeing to withhold nothing of myself out of hurt, resentment or fear.
Of all the things we are holding in—over all the opinions, anger, and disdain—the one thing that’s the most needed and sometimes hardest to give…is love.
Time is short. Whatever it is you have to say, say it now.
THOUGHTS ON VOICE
Speak from the heart—begin to view what is felt as sacred, sharing it with gentleness and grace so that the whole of you is honored in the process.
Hear with your heart—so that understanding is derived from far more than what is said.
Recognize that there is a difference between sharing emotion and being emotional—vulnerability and self-control are not mutually exclusive.
Revere the positive outcome—give up the idea of winning or argument for its own sake.
Consider the current climate—be mindful of this season of over-reaction and offense.
Say what you mean—directly and with conviction.
Be consistent—let your voice be recognizable in every circumstance so that those you impact are never taken by surprise.
Be true to who you are—mimicking others’ way of saying things will lead you farther away from your own voice.
Reflect outside of the hard moments— imagine how your highest and best self would react in difficult conversations. Then determine what is necessary to allow that side to come more often into view.
Ephesians 4:15
But speaking the truth in love [in all things—both our speech and our lives expressing His truth], let us grow up in all things into Him [following His example]