AMERICAN GIRL

I have a mean French accent. The way my lips pucker just so.

It’s heredity. One of the things Grandmère gave me, like soft kisses and funny faces, brown eyes, and an olive-colored glow.

But I’m an American girl brought up in Kansas.

Running through wheat fields and staring down cows.

Driving miles on a country road for a scoop of mint chocolate chip. Dancing with fireflies, driving t-birds, riding plows.

I wanted what she had, my 4’ 8” Grandmère. What I craved was her love story— a WWI soldier taking a bullet on foreign soil. His tiny French nurse, for him she would leave her country and live anywhere. Topeka, Kansas. Walter brought her home where they raised Antoinette, Paulette, and Jacqueline. An ordinary American life, far from Blanche’s Paris scene.

Still, I’m an American girl. Raised to understand exactly what that means. America gave blanche her life and her love...and a grand daughter who adores her french heritage more than grandmère could have ever dreamt of.

Like her mama before her, Jacqueline married for love. Fifty-five years with a man who grew up in the depression, suffering has this way of raising real men. Daddy enlisted in the Navy at just sixteen, life’s hardness brought on a rare maturity back then.

World War II made my daddy what he was—grateful, determined, strong, proud.

The day the treaty was signed my daddy was on his flight deck in Tokyo Bay. Something like that goes deep, molds a standout from the crowd.  

I was his American girl—tall and serious-minded like him. I grew up bathed in pride of country, believing everyone did. Our conversations of patriotism and propaganda lasted deep in the night. And to this day I have never questioned if the ideals of my homeland are worth the fight.

There is a new world upon us, Daddy, and I’m afraid you would hang your head with shame.

But there are those of us who follow in your and grandpa’s footsteps and there’s power and resolve in speaking your names—James G. Knox. Walter H. Cook.

An American girl. Oh yes, and a bit of my exquisite French attitude mixed in there too.

Isn’t it ironic, or perhaps not even a little, that both flags are Red. White. Blue.

Daddy, especially this year, when the fireworks are winking, I’ll be thinking of you.

Love. Your American girl.

As we approach this Freedom Celebration,  I write with a strong sense of my Daddy's voice,  prompting me with a “come on Neener, there is so much to say.”  Those of you who know me well have probably been wondering when a conversation about my daddy would surface. Since his passing, I think about him often but never more than now. His wisdom is my compass, there is no doubt. Yet, wisdom informs that all of us carry [other] voices within that are the foundation for nearly everything we believe. And that knowledge is the basis for understanding. 

I am not saying that I am not my “own person.” But to tease out the marks of my ancestors would be a nearly impossible task. I am my daddy’s daughter, An American Girl.  Of that fact I have never been more proud. But even as I hear my daddy’s whispers, like a light on the path, I feel the power of my own voice as sturdy as the path itself.

To know me, is to see a striking resemblance in face and stature. My daddy gave me a strong nose, long legs, and a lean-ness that has been mistaken for the result of chemotherapy in recent days.  But to rely on the physical as the only evidence that Jim Knox was my father would be missing the most essential aspects of my inheritance.

My daddy wasn’t perfect and on this fact I am crystal clear. Yet, as with everything in my life, where I chose to focus is on what edifies and expands me as a both woman and citizen of the world. So here I am, thinking that some of what he taught me may be useful to you now. Because time is short. Purpose is everything. Who you are matters. 

But let me leave you with this, hoping in some way these Lessons will bring you clarity and a maybe just a little peace. 

LESSONS FROM A DADDY TO HIS DAUGHTER

~Be Curious—read everything you can get your hands on. Never settle on what you think you know. Look for ways to grow and evolve. Talk to everyone. Learn about them. Understand their perspective but never accept ignorance born of an unwillingness to learn. Don’t be afraid of the deeper conversations. Seek out others who are curious. Never stop growing. 

~Be True—be true to yourself. Adapt what you know while keeping character a constant. Be true to your faith even when what is experienced tells you otherwise.

~Be Ready—ready to act. Ready to help. Ready to stand. Ready to act. Ready to support. Ready to speak.

~Be Loyal—to God first. To Country (a very close second).  

~Be Certain—of what you would live and die for. Of facts, not opinion. Of who your people really are. 

~Be Courageous—never be afraid of learning something. Be willing to say you are sorry or you were wrong. ~Be more willing to say you’re not sure. Be willing to stand up for what you believe not matter the consequence. Be willing to march on the front line or in to hell with a squirt gun for a friend.

~Be ok With Being Alone—take time to reflect. Don’t count on the agreement of others. Never crave running with the pack. Don’t value the opinions of others more than the truth you know. Be willing to walk away. Be ok with being unpopular. 

~Be the First—to take a stand. To speak. To serve. To love. To serve. 

~Be Bold—put aside what others’ think. Act instead of only speak. Be real. Be you. 

~Pay Attention—care about what’s going on around you. Listen. Live outside of yourself. Expand your view. Watch your back. Read everything. Listen to your inner voice. Notice. Do not dismiss what is noticed. Expect to hear from God. Share—share your heart. Share your resources. Share your voice. Share your mind. Share the truth. Share your home. Share your time.

~Recognize—true love. True friends. Life is short. Time is precious. Purpose is everything. You are here for a reason. Meaning comes from caring. What you care about will define you. What you don’t care about can destroy you. Everything matters. Taking things seriously is under-rated. What you do matters. You may never know how much you were right.