ABUSE OF POWER

This is for the 166.7 million females living in the United States...
and for the men who love and protect us. 

“Uniquely situated to exercise coercive power or leverage over someone.”
These were the words the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals used in 2020 in its determination that an abuser typically has “considerable power” over the victim.

Considerable Power.

There are some who would say that power finds its embodiment in being loud and brash. But there are those [like me] who sense its misuse in insidious, cunning words that murmur in quiet undertones. 

It’s necessary to share here that if you want to get close enough to me to whisper, you had better know me well. And if I allow it, the element of trust is the foundation of our relationship. 

We recently watched the man holding the highest office in our land step onto the platform and coerce millions of citizens to do something with their bodies that countless morally and medically oppose. When making this announcement, he leaned into the microphone…and whispered.

 For so many of us, the whisper is the tell. It is the signal that proceeds the pounce. It is the diversion, the distraction, the seduction device.

Force, disguised as intimacy, is manipulation in its highest form.

The communicator in me can't ignore that it’s not only the message but more, the delivery, that sounds the alarm. And I can’t help thinking that every single one hearing the words aren’t [on some level] sensing their intention.

“What is all of this really about?” I know I am not the only one asking myself. But I do wonder if I am the only one planning for what may be ahead.

Most of us don’t ask the hard questions because we aren’t ready for the response.  Instead, we consent to one seemingly small indiscretion and then the other—
disbelieving what is happening in front of our eyes, 
dismissing our intuition that tells us something isn’t right,
distracting our attention away from the ending we most fear.

So, what do you and I most fear? That those with power will force us to do something against our will. 

Yet, here is the most important part of all of this to consider—

Power Abuse does not commence with a physical act but with intimidation that elicits fear.

[I was traveling in Baltimore with a colleague when it happened to me—

I had booked a studio to record one last piece of audio for a brand video I created for a client.

Though in an unfamiliar city, I had done a little research and determined this place could accommodate my needs.  

My colleague and I parked in front of a three-story house and the owner of the studio met us outside. He ushered us down a ramp and through multiple doors leading to what appeared to be a basement.  He turned and deadbolted the first door. He closed the second door and turned the combination lock. Upon padlocking the third door he turned and explained, “This is for your protection.” 

My colleague and I shared a knowing, horrified glance. Now, here comes the question you are probably asking and one we later asked ourselves—Why did I not speak up and demand that the doors be unlocked at once?

Here is the explicit, uncomplicated response— I was there to finish my recording and this was the only truth my spirit was prepared to grasp.

Isn’t it remarkable how we are able to suppress information even from ourselves? 

Demanding that the doors be unlocked would have been an audible admission that something was terribly wrong. My conscious and subconscious minds were experiencing separate realities—outside, I remained calm and in command. Inside, the whole of me was uncontrollably shaking. 

Attempting to anchor myself and our host in the reason we were there, I asked to see the recording studio. From another room, two additional men appeared and asked me to come with them.  I was led down a dark, twisting corridor. As we walked, I exhorted that I was there to produce a recording and would need to be uninterrupted to accomplish this task. 

Smart or stupid, my steadfast focus was my defense.

There is so much more to this story including an outcome that preserved the sovereignty of our bodies but not without significant and permanent implications to how my colleague and I view the world]

How many times have we been told,
“It’s ok. Trust me. There is nothing to fear”—

Don’t we have an obligation to ourselves to trust only what we know absolutely?
Isn’t this trust in what we absolutely know our only real defense?
Isn’t anything forced on or into our bodies a violation, an aberration, an abuse?

Doesn’t this include not only bodily harm but manipulation, intimidation, and threat?

How quickly the situation can turn from seemingly harmless, even charming,
to deceptive and dangerous. 

Where is this heading? this is the question we have the responsibility to ask. It should never only be about the” now” but a necessary concern for what is “next.”

Will they come for me, come for us, and quietly insist?
Will they cover our mouths and whisper, “This is what is best?”
Those in power have a moral obligation to set minds at ease, not to incite and assert.
Haven’t we learned that those who assault the body, mind, and spirit are cereal in their actions and intent?
The violation is a process, a coercion, never a singular event.
And they will stop at nothing. 

YOUR BEST DEFENSE1. Remember, you get to decide if you live in victory or fear.2. Be aware of not only how things “appear” but how they make you feel.3. Listen not only to the message but the delivery—be mindful of what is being said between the words.4. Ask questions and don’t be afraid of the answers.5. Research everything—there is no excuse for ignorance in this information economy.6. Refuse to believe anything from anyone who is not willing to provide a first-hand source.7. Demand specific information about anything before you agree to put it in your own body.8. Never concede to something that goes against your beliefs.9. Know what you believe in advance.10. Be prepared to articulately share why.